千谎百计

   晚上看lie to me看得如火如荼，他的手机狂响，我叫他起来，人家睡得是云里雾里。我怕耽误他什么正事，帮他看手机，一个女人的短信，在未打开的时候便可以看到头几行字的内容，大意是与感情纠葛有关。

    不知该如何是好，我没有打开短信，而是坐下来喝水，想着这件事如果符合我的最坏想象该如何是好。

    有人说，女人是直觉特别敏锐的动物，什么鸡毛蒜皮的事情都逃不过她们的眼睛。也有人说，女人是最笨的动物，被老公或男朋友背叛，总是最后一个知道的。更有人说，不过是捏着鼻子哄眼睛，自己骗自己，只相信自己愿意相信的事情罢了。

    知道lie to me很久了，也偶尔翻阅了一个朋友买的《秘密》一书。相信很多人的目的，包括豆瓣上关于这部剧的火热网评都是概括出如何辨别对方是否在说谎的如下一二三四。我对读完书看完剧就能成个测谎专家表示怀疑，就像极品飞车玩得好就一定会漂移吗？我看该剧纯属是不用心也不用脑的打发我追几部美剧已经追完了的空白期。可我却还是为女博士分辨不出她丈夫的谎言而唏嘘不已，却也不觉得是种悲剧。就像剧中经典的那句话一样：真实或快乐，你只能选其一。

    可我，如今火烧到自家院墙了，却还是如此希望他并没有欺骗过我。今天在一起回来的路上，我俩还一起讨论了彼此的关系，共同得出的结论是他对我比我对他要好很多。我甚至说了些让我现在想起来很羞愧的话，我说对我好的人多着呢，你这算什么。

    长期以来，我一直是只索取不奉献，一直只享受着他对我的关心体贴照顾习以为常，我若有事情，就都去找他，不管会不会让他为难，并且好像这一切都是理所当然。他只托我给他代买过一次东西，我忘记了，还撒谎说买了只是没带过来，此后我心虚不提，他也没再问过。甚至他要买房子，我没说出过一点力提过一点建议反而说it's none of my business.

    我没想过他会有外心，我也没有想过他会弃我而去，我甚至没有想过他会欺骗我。可现在呢，事实给了我一个无情的耳光。

    今天的短信事件若是搁在三四年前，我是无论如何一定要闹个人仰马翻，把他给拉起来，把手机甩到他面前，怎么回事你一定要给我说清楚，说清楚后咱俩再一拍两散两不相干，咱大好青春可不能在一棵树上吊死，你有外心你就给我out.

    可现在却是，我只是安静得坐着，把很多细节慢镜头回放，对于我的自私我的冷漠我简直是无地自容。我现在开始相信，若一个人他本性纯真善良，他开始欺骗你隐瞒你，你真的是要好好检讨自己。

    在数年前，我与另一个人在一起三年，分分合合，打打闹闹，撕心裂肺，最后分手时想死的心都有了。你可以把之定义为情伤，我一直不承认，现在看来，其实影响颇大。比如曾经的我爱就爱得值得，错也错得值得，爱得那么浓情蜜意毫无保留，每天短信电话用心为对方做很多事情就连讲话也是甜丝丝的口气。可现在的我却是自私自利生怕自己在一段感情中付出太多最后落个分手下场遍体鳞伤所以冷漠以对。过去的过去，虽然我不承认，却已经在生命里打下了烙印。

    深呼吸数口，决心就算打破目前他对我关怀体贴的甜蜜假象也要直面惨淡的人生。打开那条貌似男女感情纠葛的短信，结果对方的大意是：我是喜欢你，但是你有女朋友了，我也就不再表示什么，希望你过得好。

    如此看来，就算他真的对我有谎言，也无非是没把这些小插曲告诉我。我也庆幸，这起疑似的出轨事件，以我对自己行为的反思和决心改变而告终。
  
    焉知非福哦，就让谎言来得更早些吧。虽然我的论调有些鸵鸟，但当一个人真的把什么都坦言相对了，相信那离你们关系的结束也便不远了。

Happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet.
又要作选择了，幸福的童话不属于现实，我们该怎样生活。


（题外：纯感情上来讲，我不喜欢holk2和lie to me，因为不想看Tim变老。
或者觉得他老了也应该拍youth without youth那样的文艺片，
狭隘的小私心。）


我只看了第一集。
很很很标准的美剧格式，
如果不是因为TR，大概我这种对犯罪题材无爱的人都不会想到去看。
别期待惊喜的话，中规中矩地让你看下去他们还是做得到的。
几个人物个性不错，
女助理的孩子气和男助理的先锋式过分诚实都是笑点发生处。
后面的情节也猜得出，每集解决一两个小案子，
男主的女儿、女助理的老公，都会有一堆纠缠没完的问题。
从第一集来看，悬念性不够强，
没有留下什么非常值得期待的伏线，
如果想要抓人眼球促成大热，恐怕编剧还需多多加料。

TR迷们也有很多的反应是“想不通他为什么会接了这个剧”，
我也想不通，
不过想到能有机会整季整季地看他演戏也就没什么好说的了。

毕竟是老了，终究是老了。
年龄的增长能使人逐渐趋向内敛、柔和、深沉与圆润，
不必再刺猬一样用上全部的力气向世界出示自己锋锐的刺芒，
也不再一手火把一手汽油地恨不得能烧尽了所有的黑暗。

不再刻意回避主流未必一定是个性的消泯，
也包含着人生的成熟所带来的温和与自信，
开始能够与现实更加融洽地相处。

《Lie to me》中的Dr.Cal Lightman同样知道并且说着：
“Truth or happiness, never both.”这样残忍的真实世界，
但是他为自己和同伴提供一份工作，
养护自己与周围人的家庭，
不再像《落水狗》中青涩的MR.Orange
或者《海上钢琴师》中清澈的1900那样
与世界同归于尽。

You believe whatever you want.
It's what everyone else does.
在首集的最后，Dr.Lightman这样对新来的年轻人说着。
而他自己，还是会忍不住伸手去拍别人的肩膀，
想要泄漏他看出的真相。
呵呵，是的，人人都在撒谎，随时随地撒谎，
掌握着真相的力量的人们，要如何真正帮助周围的人，
还需要慢慢思考体悟吧。

说谎

我不关心他人是否在说谎，只要你说出口，我就相信你。我从未告诫自己不要说谎，只要说出的话心安理得，即便是谎言，我也沾沾自喜。所以我对美剧《别对我撒谎》里的学问，不会觉得有多了不起。

从言词和举止着手，专注于窥悉他人的内心隐秘，这是颇有乐趣颇具价值的事。但是，我操不起这份心。人的深邃繁复的心灵，是多么奇异的东西，这乐趣若是上了瘾，那不等你获知真相，自己就先成了魔怔。

自我的内心世界，尚且难以洞悉，却口口声声，讨伐他人的谎言，这里的荒谬和滑稽，不言自明。剧情里讲，正常人每十分钟讲话，即有两次谎言，我略带惶恐地信服之。且更加淡化了对谎言的歧视情绪。

比撒谎更可怕的是扯淡，谎言尚且有被拆穿的风险，扯淡完全说的是真话。可这真话，都是废话笑话。片面的事实，低智的逻辑，含混的观念，顾左右而言他，拐弯抹角，心里守住的，只是自身的阴暗利益所在。

"Truth or happiness, never both."

看到第一集Tim Roth说出这句话时，心里难过的要命。这句话总结了悲剧人生，为了摆脱悲剧，多少人甘愿被骗，又有多少人为了自己的快乐骗人...

生命中如果都是实话其实也挺残酷的，不过比不过你明知道是谎话，你还逼自己相信残酷。如同X FILE里的男猪脚的煎熬：I want to believe。

有人说这个片子取材于欧美，他们肢体语言较多，不能被当做参考；事实上，此片还是有大量的科学基础的，比如当人回忆时和编造答案时眼睛会望向不同的方向，因为思维和回忆是归不同半脑管理的。诸如此类，完全重复回答也是撒谎的明显表现等是心理学教材里可以看到的。这些细节方面人类都是共通的。

我并不打算从这部美剧中学习任何辨别说谎的办法；原因一，本来就知道相当多的辨别方法，并且实践过；原因二，实践后发现可行，但是为此而吃过苦。这种苦比被骗还痛苦，如果你对某个答案怀着极大期待，别人骗你了，你知道她骗你了，但是又不能告诉她你知道她在骗你，这句话相当拗口，也相当熬人。而这种情况其实常常碰到。

知识等同于痛苦本身，或者可以表述为真相等于痛苦本身。人生其实是挺无奈的，人不能左右自己的出生和死亡，活着的时候还生活在大量的谎言当中。

有时候我们可以用谎言来区别人之间的关系：理论上讲，越亲密的人应该彼此诚实，关系越远谎言越多，这是从认识的人来讲。不认识的人有时反倒彼此诚实，因为无所谓真相，而最大的谎言却经常是最亲密的人撒的——谎言不在乎大小，只是你在乎的程度。

人总是期待着意外，无论是好意外或者是坏意外，因为人生太无奈了，希望在固定的轨迹上见到些脱轨，而意外往往总是伴随着谎言，这就是本片的卖点。

所以说你可以把这个片子当成两种片子看，怀着悲剧心态的人可以把它当纪实片看；而喜剧心态的人可以把它当做另一部超级英雄片来对待。（以上只是主观分类法，当然还有第三类，冲着Tim Roth来的，当偶像剧看等等）

俗话说的好，一千个人眼中有一千个哈利波特。不论你怎么看这部美剧，对于某些知道真相的谎言，还是需要些智慧去相信。

I Want to believe.

************************************************************
以上文字纯属虚构，如有雷同，深表同情。




 

看了以后我立即去查Ekman的论文了。。。然后就先查到这个了

标题: Psychologist Paul Ekman inspires 'Lie to Me' 作者: Bentley, Rick, Fresno Bee, The (CA), Jan 20, 2009
数据库: Newspaper Source

Jan. 20--LOS ANGELES -- Dr. Paul Ekman is a rather mild- mannered psychologist who just happens to be involved in a line of research that scares the living daylights out of some people.

He knows when you are lying.

Ekman, 74, has spent his life documenting every twitch, eye movement, body shift and lip quiver that offers clues about who is telling the truth. His work is the basis for the new Fox series "Lie To Me." The series debuts at 9 p.m. tonight.

How scary is Ekman? "Lie To Me" executive producer Samuel Baum explains that even the crew scampered when they saw Ekman coming.

"There was a guy on our crew. This huge 250-pound dolly grip. Very confident guy. And on the day Dr. Ekman came to set to consult, you just saw him go, 'I don't want to be anywhere near that guy.' He just cleared out," Baum says during an interview at the Universal Hilton just days before the launch of the new show.

Ekman has faced that reaction before. The psychologist suggests that the reason for the fear is that people assume he can read their minds. That's definitely not the case. All he can do is put together unconscious clues a person reveals. That information helps him decide who is being truthful and who is a big fat liar.

The series based on Ekman's work stars Tim Roth ("The Incredible Hulk"). The British actor plays Dr. Cal Lightman, the world's leading deception expert. Not only can he figure out if you are lying, but he also can figure out the reason for the fibs.

Even Roth gets a little nervous around Ekman.

"It's like traveling with a critic from the New York Times. And wherever you go, there's the guy going, 'No, I don't believe you. The performance was terrible,' " Roth says.

It would take years for a viewer to learn the medical skills used to solve mysteries on "House." The same goes for the forensic science that serves as the vehicle for "Bones." The same for Ekman's abilities. He offers training programs and material -- for a cost of $175 and up -- through his Web site, paulekman.com.

Be careful what you learn, he says, because knowing the truth may not be a good thing.

"The truth sometimes can be painful. Do you want to find out your spouse is cheating? Do you want to find out your kids are using hard drugs? Do you want to find out the person you hired is embezzling? It's your own choice," Ekman says. "The program will tell you about it. You may sometimes be confronted with painful truths.

"But I operate on the assumption -- and it is an assumption, it is a matter of faith -- that we're better off knowing the truth than being misled ourselves."

No one is safe. Ekman's book "Why Kids Lie: How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness," documents his own experience with his children and their sometimes sketchy relationship to the truth.

As with many successful TV shows this season that feature a search for the truth, "Lie to Me" is another show that features actors from other countries. But unlike "House" or "Fringe," in which the lead actors from other countries speak with an American accent, Roth has been asked not to.

And Roth is happy.

"I've done dialects a lot. I know the work that goes into it and that you have to get pretty specific to convince some people that that's where you're from. Do you want that added work when you're working seven days a week? I don't know where you're going to fit it," Roth says. "My feeling was it's the kind of character that you've got to be really flexible with and play around with, and you have to be really light on your feet when you're doing him.

"To have the added weight on you of trying to get the accent right would just be a waste of time. So it was a deal-breaker for me."

And as Ekman could confirm, Roth was not lying.